Just wanted readers opinion regarding outside weddings. By that I mean weddings allowed in the church that are done by people outside of the church’s fellowship. People who are non-members and virtual strangers who want to have weddings in the church buildings. I call them outside weddings.
Recently had one that left the building an abosolute mess. They knew they were to clean up and I personally talked to the after the wedding to do so. They said they would be back the next morning (Saturday morning) to clean it up. They never showed and left tons of rental equipment in the kitchen. Apparently they rented dishes etc. for the reception and left it all behind. As of today (Sunday) they still are piled up in the fellowship hall.
As if that is not enough they stiffed us on the building rental. I have personally had enough. The church policy allows for outside weddings. But I am moving more and more into the direction of banning them altogether.
There is no respect these days from strangers about the church. So they assume they rented it and can do whatever they want.
Most of my colleagues have also banned outside weddings for this very reason. It is too much hassle and too much risk for things to get torn up. Plus since I live next door to the church, it is “dumped” on me to handle all wedding issues. Which generally means I have my day off shot dealing with a wedding.
What is yall’s opinion on this matter. I personally think the church should have a wedding coordinator on standby to handle all of these issues and is paid out of the building fees. And the suggested fee for rental should be such so as to discourage rental.
What say yall?
May 17, 2010 at 12:21 am |
First, it would be great if all outside weddings were an opportunityt to reach lost people for Christ or have saved people see the church for what it is — a place to serve God and get involved each week!!! You know, a great place to come back for membership and fellowship.
Too bd outside weddings cannot be done for the sake of finding people who needed a church home, and then from all your work, efforts, help, and allowing the use of the church, they would come back on Sunday, come again the week after, and then join after a few weeks of great preaching, music, love, and openness! It would be great to see some join all because you allowed them the use of the church for a wedding, reached out to them, and helpd them in a time of need and ministry.
** BUT, we all know that doesn’t happen! Never has with me and probably never will. I do not remember a soul in over 27 years joining the church as a result of having their wedding at my church where I served? Well, maybe a few… but not more than a small few!! Have you ? Others?
I guess outside weddings are a necessary item to have in a church, but it should not always come back to you to do all the work, and give up your time. I do not know the easy answer, but there has to be one. Having a wedding coordinator would help and seems the best answer. I have done that and used one in the past, and it is great when it works right. But, there needs to be a fee paid to them by the wedding couple — at least $100 for the weekend and maybe more depending on time spent at church(?) It has to be enough $$ that it makes giving up the weekend worth it! For sure!
Also, charging a building deposit for clean up, etc., might help make sure th clean up is done right and stuff is put away? But, in the end, it comes down to this — we are dealing with people (lost people many times!) who do not know better and the church is just something they need for the wedding and not much more. Let’s pray that God’s Holy Spirit will touch them, and some how draw them back to the church some time later!
Make an effort as the pastor to call them, write them E-mail them, Text them, etc., later and after the wedding and invite them to attend church. Maybe if we see it as an opp to see them saved God will bless our time, lost weekend, and frustrations.
Let’s pray it will be a wonderful opp for witnessing, ministry, and a time to show and share Jesus’ love.
Have a Blessed Day.